The Night I Went to New York/Philly/Denver and Possibly Boston

So this one was confusing. Hopefully I can keep it straight.

In high school, I took two trips with our band (yes, I was a band geek...). One was to NYC and the other to Hawaii. It was actually an awesome experience as a musician. I was able to see two Broadway productions, an off-Broadway production, visit Juilliard, and in Hawaii I had the privilege of playing my instruments at the University of Hawaii.

Anyway, in my dream I learned that I would be taking another trip to NY and either Philly or Boston. I didn't seem to know which in my dream. Often times I do everything impromptu in dreamland, which makes real-perfectionist-planner-everythinghastoworkatthistimethatIhavealloted! me extremely nervous and rock back and forth in a corner. So because of this sudden trip, I remember throwing random items of ugly clothing into a backpack and putting it into my father's van. (even though this was supposed to be a "band" trip, my parents and I seemed to be the only ones going).

This somehow cuts to an airport in Denver. I just knew it was Denver, because I remember looking around and thinking, Huh. There is no snow here. I can't remember what things look like without snow after the epic Midwest snowstorm that took place last week. Even though Denver probably gets snow, I just knew we were in Denver. Because in dreamland, I just know things.

When we get to the airport, which looked more like Kohl's Department store than an airport, I made a very, very disturbing discovery in the parking lot. I opened up my backpack to find that I. FORGOT. TO. PACK. ANY. PANTS. Real me would have probably dropped to the ground and convulsed, making mumbling noises between sobs of agony and despair. (Actually, this is not so accurate. Real me would have never forgotten pants) Dream me, however, was a thinker. An inventor, even! Dream me figured the airport that looked like Kohls, but was actually more of a mall, would definitely have pants.

Side note: I think I should have a separate name for dream me. As I have found, we are very different people. Yes, this probably makes me a crazy person. But I think dream me should be Denzel because she is way more bad-ass than real me. Yes. Denzel it is.

So Denzel went into the Kohl's mall. The doors to the actual Kohl's were very tall glass doors embraced by a wooden frame and had fancy door handles. It was like opening the gate to the kingdom of pants. True to real life, I was heavily disappointed by the selection. Denzel would never settle for these ugly pants, and obviously having no pants was a better option than having ugly stupid pants. Instead of accepting this, I (denzel) was gonna DO something about it. I was ANGRY now. I jumped up on their stupid tables with ugly clothes and threw everything on the ground. In my primal rage, I took some random items off of some other tables and pretended to head to the dressing room where I would really be able to cause some chaos. This, however, did not make mother happy. She scolded me and made me go look at the ugly pants and pick something out. I put my pouty face on and stomped over to the ugly-pants rack. Even though I did what my mother told me, I was going to make sure everyone knew how unhappy I was about it. Including one of the workers. Just as he walked by, I yelled, "BITCH!" and gave him my super evil glare. This was not going to fly. As if they had some secret microphones planted around the store, alarms started wailing, and bitch-man took hold of my wrist and told me to get out of the store. Not because I stood on the tables and created a disaster, but because I called him a bitch.

Take that, Kohl's, for having crappy-ugly pants.